Market reference note: This article draws on sources from both Korea and the United States. Each piece of information is labeled 🇰🇷 Korea or 🇺🇸 U.S. in the text to indicate which country it applies to.
On the day a parent receives a dementia diagnosis, or on each day you watch a chronic illness deepen, a strange grief takes root in the caregiver's heart. Feeling grief for someone who is still alive is hard to make sense of, and at times it can even feel like a kind of guilt. But this emotion already has a name: anticipatory grief.
Anticipatory grief refers to the emotional process of grieving that occurs before an actual death — in the face of an impending loss. 🇺🇸 U.S. In a December 2024 resource for caregivers, AARP explained that anticipatory grief is an emotional response that arises when an impending loss appears on the horizon, and that it can emerge from the day of diagnosis and continue over months or even years. Illnesses that require long-term caregiving — such as dementia, cancer, and chronic conditions — are the most common triggers of anticipatory grief.
🇺🇸 U.S. According to a 2022 study published in BMJ Supportive and Palliative Care, approximately one in four family caregivers experiences anticipatory grief. The proportion is even higher among dementia caregivers, and research consistently finds that anticipatory grief is closely linked to depressive symptoms. When caregivers view their grief as a strange or wrong feeling and suppress it alone, the weight of it only grows heavier.
🇰🇷 Korea According to the 2023 치매역학조사 및 실태조사 (National Dementia Epidemiological and Status Survey) released by the 보건복지부 (Ministry of Health and Welfare) and 중앙치매센터 (National Dementia Center) in November 2024, 45.8% of family members of community-dwelling dementia patients feel burdened by caregiving, and the level of depression among family members of community-dwelling dementia patients is nearly twice that of the general older adult population. Korea is no exception. Family caregivers who feel every day that their parent is still here but is no longer the same as before are being quietly yet deeply worn down.
Anticipatory grief is, in fact, also a form of adaptation. Experts say this grief can be a process that helps us digest an approaching reality little by little, piece by piece. What matters is not pushing this emotion away as something bad. The changes in the relationship you are experiencing now, the loss of the everyday moments you once shared, the fear about the future — feeling all of these things is a sign of how deeply you love.
So how can you live alongside this emotion? First, acknowledge it. Simply giving yourself permission to say, 'I am grieving right now,' can shift the weight of it. Second, do not carry it alone. Sharing your experience with a trusted family member or friend, or with a support group of caregivers in similar situations, can help. 🇺🇸 U.S. AARP's online grief and loss community (aarp.org/griefcommunity) is available free of charge, and grief counselors can also be connected through hospice organizations or hospitals. 🇰🇷 Korea The 256 치매안심센터 (Dementia Care Centers) located nationwide offer psychological support and self-help group programs for families of dementia patients, and you can apply through your local 주민센터 (community service center).
Family members who spend more time together with their loved one — such as a spouse or primary caregiver — tend to feel anticipatory grief more intensely. That is also evidence of how much more deeply they love. Your grief is not wrong. Giving it a name makes it just a little more possible to bear.
Sources: AARP caregiver resources (aarp.org, December 2024); BMJ Supportive and Palliative Care 2022 study (as cited in Brain & Life); 보건복지부·중앙치매센터 「2023년 치매역학조사 및 실태조사」 (released November 2024); 찾기쉬운 생활법령정보 (easylaw.go.kr), guidance on 노인맞춤돌봄서비스 (Customized Care Services for Older Adults) (2025–2026 edition); PubMed — Anticipatory grief among caregivers of people living with dementia: A scoping review (2025).
Note: This article was compiled by AI from the sources cited above. We strive for accuracy, but for decisions about your specific situation, please confirm the latest guidance from a professional or the relevant agency.